How does a woman at 49 lose control? Answer ~ prescription pills. I loved the way opiates made me feel. I felt happy, euphoric. I felt like Superwoman.
In the beginning, I would take pills every once in awhile and on the weekends. Being an addict, my addiction progressed through the years. Before I knew it, I couldn’t stop. I had to have them to function. I tried many times to stop but I couldn’t stop. I would start withdrawing, becoming dope sick. Opiate withdrawal is so painful. You feel as if you are going to die.
Fortunately, I finally agreed to go to rehab and then to a sober house. I was medically detoxed and then hard to do the hard stuff. I had to work on myself, figure out what I was running from in life. I saw all walks of life in rehab. In the beginning, I would look around at all the clients and think to myself, “I don’t belong here,” but I did. Addiction does not discriminate. I learned to not judge anyone because I had not walked in their shoes. I learned in rehab that there is a magic between two addicts. It is healing to be honest and share your story.
Although finding recovery was the hardest thing I have ever done, it has been the most rewarding. I am now PRESENT in my life. It is so nice to wake up and not worry about if I have enough pills to make through the day!
I had to choice to hide my journey from the world or share it. I decided to share it in hopes of helping another suffering addict, help a struggling family member understand they are powerless over their loved ones addiction. I know there are so many parents and family members, of addicted loved ones who have lost HOPE.
The suffering addict does not see a way out and is fearful to admit they need help. It’s the stigma that remains the biggest barrier in our society. When you hear the term “drug addict,” nothing but negative thoughts come to mind.
We need to break the stigma of drug addiction. We need to educate and support all walks of life that are affected by drug addiction. We need to remember it is a disease and with proper treatment we can get sober. Always remember, there is HOPE!